Can the glass ever really be half full?

I used to think that it was all about perspective but now I'm not so sure. I was watching Oprah this weekend (I love my DVR. It's right up there with Caller ID) and it was about wives who had been deceived by their husbands. It really was quite interesting. Each wife seemed to be saying the same thing, why didn't I pay attention to the "signs"? I began to think about the old cliche of looking at the glass as half full. While I'm not married and am no doubt NOT an expert on the subject, I can't help but wonder once you say "I do" are you also agreeing to see the silver lining, find the good, look at the glass as half full. All of these women suspected their husbands of cheating, yet it wasn't a deal breaker. In fact, two of their marriages ended because their husbands went to jail and the other one's husband died of a heart attack. So I wonder are there degrees of cheating? For instance, are you cheating if you are texting or emailing ex's? Is it cheating if you visit or hang out with ex's? What's your take? Are there levels of cheating and is cheating a deal breaker?


Elle said...

Cheating is one of those things that so many people seem to view so differently. For some, it's a total deal breaker, and for others there are degrees or "agreements" of levels that are okay. For me, cheating is a deal breaker, and I consider cheating to be a physical or emotional relationship in which my husband has "replaced" me with another woman.

Texting or emailing ex's is fine; as is visiting or hanging out. As long as my husband is doing it in a friendly manner and is being true to his vows and our marriage. I trust him, and unless he gives me a reason not to, that's where the focus needs to be.

If my husband were to have a physical or emotional affair, I'd feel betrayed, and I don't know that I'd be able to work through the trust issues that would create. I think that, without trust, relationships are doomed. So, an affair would most likely be the end of our marriage. This is something we both agree on, so we know where the boundaries are.

Lourie said...

I always thought of it as a deal breaker. It's not Love, Honor, and Cherish....for now. It's a forever thing. I am also a bit of grudge holder.

Stopping from SITS

joanofalltrades said...

Yes! Yes! Yes! Cheating is a deal breaker. Cheating is cheating. Evil things like facebook and cell phones have led to a lot of emotional cheating. Now this is not to say that people can not get past infidelity in a marriage. Some people do get past it and live very happy lives. I always look at Steve and Miranda from Sex in the City as an example of this. Yes, I know they are fictitious characters, but a person can dream right? I saw that episode of Oprah. Women just need to follow their intuition. All of those women saw signs, but chose to ignore them because of security or money.

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